A Father’s Gratitude

He sat down, his head buried between his hands, holding himself from crying. It was a sad Saturday afternoon last weekend, cloudy, rainy and cold. The man, taller than me by at least a foot and much larger than me, was a defeated man. His three-month-old daughter passed away after a two-week ordeal in hospital.

I didn’t know what to say. There isn’t much I could have said, except to tell him that he could rest assured the doctors had tried their best to help his daughter live.

He looked up, nowhere in particular, then turned to me, and following a long breath that he let out, added: “I am grateful for everything they did. They asked me for permission every time they wanted to conduct a test on her. I felt respected and treated like a human being. For the first time in a long time, I was human. I wasn’t a minority, my skin colour did not matter, and my lack of English was irrelevant.”

For anyone who was born in Canada or anyone spent most of their life here, this man’s words may sound strange and out of context. But for someone who arrived here only a few months ago, respect, equal treatment, and non-discrimination are a treasure. Especially when you’re a Roma from Europe.

For all the pain that I felt for this father’s loss, I was inspired by this man’s humanity  to have such an appreciation of the kindness shown to him in the face of great difficulty.

Nostalgizing anew

Here’s a song that’s been in my head today:

To die a little

One of my favourite quotations comes from the French poet of the late 19th century, Edmond Haraucourt: “Partir, c’est mourir un peu” (To leave/go away is to die a little bit), he wrote.

I remember leaving Newfoundland two years ago, and if anyone could imagine a person who is torn about staying home and discovering a new world, that was me. I wanted to see a new place, experience what it meant to study in one of the oldest universities in Europe, make new friends, but most of all, expand my knowledge of conflicts and the ways to prevent them. Yet, my desire to be away was met with much emotional distress, that impossible wish to discover the world’s ills by staying in the shelter of the island of Newfoundland – managing to think about the wars, the issues, the seemingly endless problems that follow after conflict is transformed into a more peaceful, manageable feat.

After two years in Oxford, I am back in Newfoundland and feeling quite refreshed. I am enjoying the wind, the rain, the routine hellos from random strangers I meet on the street, the hilly streets I can’t conquer with my bicycle, the endless questions ending with “what now?” [i may be enjoying these less than I would like to, particularly because people appear to have visions of where they would like me to be, as opposed to where I would like to be].

The point is, I graduated with an MPhil in International Relations at the University of Oxford at the end of July, spent August working and seeing Northern Italy and visiting a dear friend there, and the last month or so reading fun fiction and practising my shoddy Arabic script. Oh, and I’ve also been going out for meals with friends and watching news (switching back and forth from CBC’s “Here and Now” to the main RTK news program). And in between all of this, I’ve had some extra time to think about the things that make me as attracted to this land as to the land I left behind long time ago.

One cannot help but notice how much everything changes in so little time. I have changed much, and in many ways, my idealism has changed from what it once was (not to suggest in any way that it is no longer idealism). My friends too, have changed: They now have children, partners, husbands and wives, new houses, new jobs, new homes in other towns and even other provinces. We have all changed in many ways. But one thing that remains the same is this land: The patchy green on the rocky hills, the greys of the skies and the sturdy trees, a design of the winds that blow ceaselessly, meshing perfectly to evoke a sensation of a safe place.

No matter how many of us go away or stay, move in or out, this place will remain alive, as strong today as ever, to overcome whatever may come in its way. It may be because there will always be someone to keep a fireplace going, or to joke about the disasters that came over them the way that only Newfoundlanders and Labradorians do.

Perhaps, more than for any other reason, I am back because I found I have so much in common with the kind, generous, welcoming, but also patient and resilient residents of this land. Perhaps that brought me back, even if I died a little when I left it two years ago, even if I died a little when I left Oxford a month ago.

On equality and women

WARNING – SPOILER ALERT

For 2+ hours today, I spent a late afternoon with one of my best friends in Oxford, watching Alejandro Amenabar’s recent film, Agora. I was prepared to see something akin to Alexander, a film I felt lacked a good storyline and featured more CGI effects than true acting talent, but what I saw was more than a two-hour return to ancient Rome, seeing the founding years of Christianity from a different perspective.

Perhaps the most powerful part of Amenabar’s film is perhaps one that he intended as such – the repression of women by religious opportunists who saw them as a political threat in the early years of monotheism.

The main character of Agora is based on the historic figure of Hypatia of Alexandria, an atheist astronomer and philosophy professor during the last years of the Roman Empire. Hypatia (Rachel Weisz), the way she is depicted in the film, is an influential woman of great intellect with hunger for knowledge and curiosity to find out the relationship between the Sun and the Earth. She’s empathetic to her slave, interested in imparting her knowledge to students who will become influential leaders as the film progresses. The film is true to the story of Hypatia as reported by Socrates Scholasticus, who wrote that Hypatia’s influence on the Roman prefect was perceived as a threat by the increasingly powerful Christian bishop Cyril, marking the beginning of the attacks on intellectual knowledge:

She fell victim to the political jealousy which at that time prevailed. For as she had frequent interviews with Orestes, it was calumniously reported among the Christian populace, that it was she who prevented Orestes from being reconciled to the bishop. Some of them, therefore, hurried away by a fierce and bigoted zeal, whose ringleader was a reader named Peter, waylaid her returning home, and dragging her from her carriage, they took her to the church called Caesareum, where they completely stripped her, and then murdered her with tiles. After tearing her body in pieces, they took her mangled limbs to a place called Cinaron, and there burnt them.

Amenabar does not let us see this aspect of the cruelty of human nature, perhaps because he cares too much for Hypatia’s character. He picks a painful, but a more respectful death for her, as a former slave-turned-into-a-Christian strangles her lovingly, if one can ever do that. The director nevertheless lets the viewer get a taste of this poisonous environment, the nature of Alexandria overrun by religious zealots, Christians suppressing any opposition, opposing Jews who counterattack and, as a result, pay a hefty price of being forced out of the city. This is the rise of Christianity told from a very different, negative point of view. I am not sure I know enough about it to comment, but what struck me is something else – the position of women at such an early period of monotheism.

In the film, the Christian bishop Cyril orders that Orestes, the Roman prefect, publicly accept Christianity by affirming his faith in scriptures stating that women must dress modestly and must sit and stand silently. Cyril quotes this as the word of God, though it is difficult to take it as such. Amenabar paints him as a man hungry for power who will use any means at his disposal to remove obstacles to his reaching the top – Hypatia represents an important obstacle, as she influences Orestes’ decision-making on Christians in Alexandria.

It is incredibly unfortunate and sad for humanity that women, at a moment when they could have led the world toward progress and change, were [and in some ways, still are] confined to the shadow of men. More than anything, I was saddened at the sudden realisation that the world today would have been a different place had women been the equals of men, as religion preached. Think of the perspectives that would be represented in war and peace – contrary to the beliefs of some feminists, I don’t think the world would have been a more peaceful place if women had ruled it. To make such an assumption would be to ignore the role of some prominent female leaders who led their countries into conflict, i.e. Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, and why not, Tansu Ciler and Benazir Bhutto. But to have that view represented would have made such a difference in human progress.

As I watched the film, I kept thinking of the discoveries that would have been expedited with their help. Surely, two minds are better than one, and two minds thinking in different ways would have certainly led to more positive progress in less time than it took the male-dominated fields of history, science, philosophy, and literature. Amenabar symbolically illustrates this absence as he depicts Hypatia discovering the Earth’s revolution around the Sun 1200 years before a male astronomer made the realisation (it has not been confirmed that Hypatia actually discovered this fact – most of the information present on her is in the form of letters by her students and philosophers who wrote after her death).

For the last three hours since I saw the film, I couldn’t help but think “what if…? what if…? what if…?” What if women had been treated as men’s equals from the beginning? What if they had been treated the way scriptures (including the Bible and the Qur’an) intended them to be treated, as equal to, but different from men? What would the world be like today if women had not been cut off from public presence? What would the world be like today if women had not been burnt at the stake for conducting research, for asking questions, for doubting?

Women’s informal influences on the way men handled the world should not be underestimated, and we will perhaps never know to what extent men’s actions have been affected by Hypatias of the world. However, we will never know how the world would have looked today if women had been treated as men’s intellectual equals.

As I walked home with my dear friend, a young woman whose high level of intelligence and wisdom continually dwarves mine, I remembered Fatima-al-Fihri, who, in the nascent days of Islam, founded the first and oldest degree-granting university in the world in year 859. A single woman, a historic moment.

My friend, when asked what she thought of the film, responded that she thought it was bad because it conveyed a dangerous message proposing that religion produced discrimination against women. But to see it this way is to deny Agora’s true objective, that of showing how threatened religious leaders felt by the presence of women. I walked on and did not say anything, though in my mind, I kept thinking of one of the most memorable quotes of the film, uttered by Hypatia in one of her most desperate moments: “Synesius, you don’t question what you believe, or cannot. I must.”

Nationalism in a new format

Random expressions of nationalist statements can be seen almost anywhere and everywhere these days. The web and especially social networking sites have become the newest tools for carrying out the promotion of nationalist ideals.

The examples are numerous: Last year, a Kosovar hackers group attacked a Serbian government website. What did they do, you wonder? They placed the Albanian national flag on the website – Big deal, right? It just meant the Serbian government had to fix their servers and make them more secure. Besides, I have no doubt the Serbian counterparts to Kosovar cyber-pirates hacked some Albanian or Kosovar site in revenge.

What happened to the Estonian internetage in 2007 was far worse: The whole government website system was under attack and more. Banks, cultural institutions, community centres – it didn’t matter whose website it was, if it was Estonian, it was targetted by Russian hackers for a simple reason – The Estonian government had removed a 1947-Soviet-Union imposed statue on the main square in Tallinn, the capital, in remembrance of the fallen Soviet soldiers in Estonia. For Estonia, the hack was disastrous. The country is, after all, the most wired country in Europe, with the highest percentage of internet users per capita.

Most recently, some months ago, a friend sent me an invite to a group calling for the closing of a Facebook page created by Serbian nationalists who claimed that one of the examples of genocidal mass murder in Srebrenica, Bosnia, was a hoax. The group was indeed shut after hundreds of thousands of concerned Facebookers joined within a matter of days.

Stickers stating Kosova is the heart of Serbia are nothing new. I used to see them when I was in Montreal, and I would routinely remove them. If Kosova was the heart of Serbia, Serbia would have had a heart attack and probably triple bypass by now – You don’t treat your heart the way Serbia treated Kosova and the great majority of its citizens.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend mentioned in a conversation that there is someone in Oxford who keeps placing the stickers all over town, and he apparently removes them every time he sees one. The name of the printing house is on the stickers. So is the name of the group posting the stickers [apparently they call themselves "Delije" - Serbian for "hero", Turkish for "fool"]. His comments during the chat reminded me of not only the new age of nationalism, but the continued facilitation of nationalist propaganda distribution in the age of technology.

It was expected, with the spread of the internet, that people around the world would find commonalities between them and people they consider “others.” Instead, it appears that the opposite has happened: People around the world are re-asserting themselves, their values, their beliefs, on the new platform for nationalist propaganda. The act of placing stickers all over a town is not necessarily physically endangering anyone’s safety, but the taking of the issues outside of their original geopolitical sources naturally carries some danger. Namely, it creates a new battlefield – convincing the persons of the new region that the nationalist cause is genuine and that the foreigner to the cause should not be an outsider, but an adopted nationalist.

..more to come.

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